Need help?

🤠 I’m hungry

Hi hungry, nice to meet you. I’m dad.

🐔 Guess what?

Chicken butt.

🚢 Why didn’t Rose let Jack on the door raft?

Ugh, don’t remind us 😭

🤯 I know you are, but what am I?

*has epiphany about entire existence* #cuekeanureevesmemes

🧻 Toilet paper: over or under?

We’re actually here for all of it, as long as you change it :-)

🥪 Should sandwiches be cut in half or diagonally?

You should cut them how the parental figure in your life cut them. It’s up to you to carry on the tradition.

🦉 How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?


💍 If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?

We’ve wondered this ourselves, many-a-time. If we did marry it, would you speak now or forever hold your peas?

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